We are born upon the wings of angels, and die in the arms of evil

I feel the need to change something…. I was thinking of dying my hair but unfortunately, I already shaved it all off and there is nothing to dye. I’m sick and tired of living my life with such drudgery on a day to day basis. I want to vent but I have nothing to say, and if I turn this into one of my long posts, there will be nothing of value said, so I’d prefer to keep it short. I really want to write something, I have the ache. The ache is a feeling you get when you have to get something important out, and I want to write my something important. I want to write my To Kill A Mockingbird, my Catch-22, my Catcher in the Rye. I see all these people every day, older than me, who don’t live, they just survive, struggling along in the exact same way that everyone else does. And then I see these people who live and do something every day, these people are younger than me, and they might not achieve the picket fence dream, but they’ll enjoy whatever they do until it ends. And for some reason I see what they do as temporary, something that won’t last. They wont burn out, they’ll just fizzle. Somewhere else in this grand scheme is me… I don’t know where I fit, I’m drudging along day to day, but I create, but I don’t feel like I can enjoy. I don’t want to fizzle out, I just need to stop the ache and get this novel out, however there is one problem. I know what I want to say, but I don’t know how to say it. That’s all.

~ by Ace Sunshine on February 11, 2008.

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